Religion a form of Psychiatry/The Raven's Return

Religion a form of Psychiatry/The Raven's Retrun

Mission Statement: The Bible Reincarnate 

“My hope is that one day your gospel as well as mine as well as countless others can be used to create online something truly living and giving of the self, “The Bible Reincarnate.”

So many people get upset with the simple word, “Religion” but why? What is religion anyway? Is religion a way of life, a philosopher’s work, or a prophet’s dream; or is it something more? To me religion can actually be looked upon as a spiritual form of psychiatry the only difference is the psychiatrist is the religion and the patient is the follower. The patient gets there cue from the doctor and the prescription is the teachings of that particular faith.

Why can’t we be our own spiritual doctor while at the same time being the patient? There is a Christian saying, “God helps those who help themselves” so why not fill my own prescription based on how my creator is guiding me. My prescription might be to find an answer through sport, literature, or through music, painting, or poetry.

As mentioned previously, I feel that reincarnation answers many personal questions I have regarding my life. One moment in particular came when I met a lovely young lady at a camp I was working at in the summer of 96. Her name was Elizabeth and although I made the mistake of looking towards others that summer, I was able to establish a friendship strong enough to carry the both of us over the course of one year in such a way that I was finally able to prove my appreciation for her. Although she was preparing to be married to someone else or already married, I don’t remember which, I felt compelled to write a poem to her that would encompass all the passion I felt but this would not be an easy task.

Because of the intense emotions stirring within me, I made time to literally stop doing what ever it was I was doing and focus on the feelings themselves. I did so by playing hooky from work and why not there is nothing wrong with a mental holiday.

I went with what my heart as well as previous teachings and experiences I had either encountered in school or in the school of life, not second guessing anything and just allowing the energy of the universe to pull me to where it was I needed to go to assist me in this overall process. I thought back to my first moments of fear. I also thought about my anxiety, my passion, my hatred, and my pain. I would lose myself in such feelings to the point that my toes would curl as I rolled myself up into a ball on my bed which was nothing more than a mattress on the floor. When alone, I would scream into my pillow based on the intensity of the emotions and pound my mattress with all my might with my fist. Sometimes, I would get so emotional that I would become sexually aroused and found myself thrusting my pelvis into the mattress I lay upon, fucking it like a mad man until I came with such an orgasm that my cock became bloody from constantly rubbing it into the mattress and it’s slightly penetrating metal coils.

This was all good in many ways because it was in this fashion I learned over time to be that rough and wild lover that is sometimes needed via one’s partner instead of the usual idea of making love. Sometimes one just needs a good hard fuck.

It was with this passion and mix of emotions and experiences I went into the direction of Poe. After reading “The Raven” I spent time placing myself as Poe in his original manuscript then began to think to myself of things regarding past lives and possible past loves.

I finally had the perfect equation to assist me with my madness, my complex emotions, and my understanding of the moment. It was then that I wrote my sequel entitled, “The Raven’s Return”

Performing it alone was like a nice little moment of masturbation but when performing it in front of others, it was like an intense orgasm that could only be felt in the mitts of a manasuhtwa.

            When I performed it for the first time in front of a crowd, I did so in front of 500 people at the college campus I had been going to and like someone fortunate enough to have there first sexual experience of loosing there virginity in a brilliant and passionate way, I too viewed that moment as such. And although my smaller performances such as when I read at the Planet X Cafe brought me enormous ecstasy, nothing was ever like that first time. 

The Raven’s Return

Looking back I do remember on that wicked dark

December, hope and faith to me so tender, dying on my chamber floor.

My then new friend had left my side and to the night it flew in stride

leaving me alone inside cold and empty to the core

Dead I was and nothing more

But this was not to be the end, back and forth I’d go again

into life or devils den to find my love my lost Lenore

For I believed in fate so strong, simply searching to belong

to my love from days of yore

Seek I would and nothing more

I searched through days within all seasons trying hard to find the reasons

why God acted as if in treason to the love I lived before.

Taking her, was this a test? Upon an endless nightmare quest

I’d have to march upon the breast of Father Time forever more.

On I trekked and nothing more

Running wild within the light of all that was and all could be

I went from life to life with hope that I would surely find my dream.

A dream to be reality, this was foreshadowed more and more

As each death came there was a door unlocked for me to soon explore

Unlocked for me, forevermore

Mixed emotion, lost expression came to be through black depression

causing thoughts to turn direction from the truth I held before.

Licking wounds that would not bleed, I found my soul to surely need

The love, now lust, aligned with greed, that love still seen as my Lenore

Hurt it did, of this be sure

Then in the month of May she came, this life had held the final game

the moment I had long searched for to find the one I did adore.

My vision of a hundred years now stood before my thousand tears and with it

came a thousand fears that would provoke what was in store.

Not again, I did implore

Yes, from the darkness it came to me like it had done once before

that wicked evil bird from Hell had now flown to this moonlit floor

Staring at us both it did, its eyes fixated cold and sure, then spoke to me it’s

only word that struck my soul down to the core,

Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore”

Go you bastard leave, be gone, I said this in a tempered rage

Fly back to where it was you came and start not now this war you wage.

With this now said, I turned my sights to her whose soul was rich and pure  and as I did, she disappeared whereby I screamed, my soul now poor

Wealth to be, nevermore

My heart then stopped yet still I lived and with such life came death to give

I stormed towards this bird of prey and in my hands

I yearned to say, “Die now Satin, live no more” and then I

Threw him on the floor, he then stood up and did implore

His only word

Nevermore

Since then I’ve stumbled through the days and with it comes an endless craze with me fixated on that phrase that slashed my soul and slammed the door

I can’t move on from here until my body finally does expel my soul but that can’t be until I’m old and cold and dead and worn

Suicide I won’t endure

So again I ask the Raven, like I have done times before

Will I see my only maiden, my dearest love, my love Lenore?

Starring at the streets of home, my only home of this I’m sure

The city lights of Baltimore speak for the Raven,

Nevermore