Self Love

Remember August is upon us...

Self Love

Self love is possibly a completely different beast to understand. When I first hit puberty I didn’t know what to think. I remember it like it was yesterday, lying in the bathtub when suddenly my penis became enlarged. Embarrassed, I pulled the shower curtain all the way across the length of the tub and held onto it as I prayed to God that this never happen again. Thank god, God didn’t listen.

What spawned this sudden growth; the thought of two girls together. The idea came so naturally to me. Was this normal? Here I was, twelve and although one might think I, if anything, should have been thinking of myself as a male with a female instead to create such hormonal joy, why was I thinking of two girls instead? Soon I found myself having dreams of two women together. They weren’t all sexual. One, I remember, was of two women in there thirty’s in 1929. They were lovers and although both were beautifully dressed, they were crying in each others arms because they had lost everything.

As I grew older, I found myself enjoying the idea of the lesbian lifestyle so much that I found myself checking out every naughty movie or story about such topic every chance I could.

Every relationship I had with a female, I took it upon myself to try and enjoy her the way two women would each other through touch and oral sex. Putting my penis into a woman felt ok but it just wasn’t the sensation I felt I wanted to have.

In my mid thirties, I came across a CD regarding self hypnosis. The idea was that through the voice on the CD, one could go into such a deep state of mind that they could see all of there past lives. I decided to give it a try and what I learned blew me away.

I first saw myself as a daughter of a wealthy family in the 1600’s in a small town in Italy. I was sent to an all girl convent school that I didn’t like what so ever so much that I committed suicide. I was buried in a field by my family where over time a small church was built. As time continued, the church became old and run down, falling apart to years of wind and rain.

From there I saw my body flying over the ocean towards the United States where I again found myself to be female only this time with child in the 1940’s. I was in a rocking chair and the room my child and I were in was barely lit via a candle off to my left side. I was happy, holding my child, looking into its eyes when suddenly the scene changed again.

This time I was in a car driving down a long and winding road along the coast from San Francisco heading south. What sex I was, I don’t know however I do remember the car going off the road and into the ocean. I remember watching the water come ever closer as the car fell. Interestingly enough, back in the late 1980’s I went to a psychic off route one just because I felt drawn to the small shop. It was at that time I was told by the psychic that I was killed with two guys in a fatal car accident. Because I was the purest of the three persons, I was given another chance while they were not. Because of this, there souls are jealous thus they, from the day I was born, make every attempt to assist me to screw up my life. What made this story so interesting was that the psychic without having any knowledge of who I was, explained to me that this all occurred in the year 1969. Interestingly enough, I was born in 1970.

Blessed Be-